Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Jealousy Makes Me Blog Crazy Things

Yesterday evening I was catching up on my blog reading and I stumbled onto a new one - this is not that blog by Kendall. Her most recent post started off with the warning that today was probably not the best day to start reading her blog.

I had perfect timing, as usual!

That particular post is entitled "bear suits make everything better" and OMG is it funny!

You should go read it.

Yes, right now. Go. I'll wait. Trust me, the rest of this blog will only make complete sense if you do.

Funny, huh?

She and Little Animation - The Animated Woman make me wish I could draw. You want to go look at that blog too? Fine. I'll wait...

Ok, so anyways, if you blog you know that you can go look to see what search keywords were used to find your blog.

You didn't know that? You want to go check your search keywords right now? Fine... I'll wait...

Back? OK good. So, most of the search terms are pretty tame, but occasionally you get a really interesting one. Well, I should say some people do, my results are above and and as you can see not much exciting there.

Alright, sure, "im a cage dancer" is kind of interesting, but not nearly as cool as "fuck your shit i'm in a bear suit" or finding out that your blog is getting repeated hits from a website for people who have a fetish for getting stuck to things, like @Moooooog35.

Yes, you should go read that blog post too, but it can wait until you're done here.

So some of my Twitter friends and I were whining musing about our lack of interesting keyword search results and @Matt_Conlon came up with the idea of a Blog Ring for crazy search phrases - either to report them or to inspire them.

Do you have interesting search results to share? Do you wish you did? (Come on, you know you do). Join us!

Go check your search results (or start a blog, you slacker!!). Click here: here. Post your craziest search to date and then go back and post something nutty on your blog to see if you can get even better results to report!

Saturday, May 28, 2011

The Art of Avoiding Nap Time, by Angelina

Guest Blog today by Angelina Jean, aged (almost) 4.

Twenty tried and true ways to avoid napping:

1. Make your bed.
2. Insist you need a certain stuffed animal, in addition to the 20 already on your bed. (this also works well at bed time)
3. These phrases: "I'm thirsty", "I have to go potty", (fake a sneeze) "I need a tissue"
4. Undress your doll babies.
5. Dress your doll babies.
6. Sing.
7. Sing louder (words are optional).
8. Change your clothes.
9. Climb the furniture.
10. Pull every single toy you own out of wherever it is and spread them all around the floor.
11. Build a mountain of toys to climb up to reach objects on shelves. (Why do mom's put stuff on shelves? I mean really... obviously they want us to climb up there to see.)
12. Read a book (reading ability not required).
13. Fulfill your sudden desire to hang up every piece of clothing you own.
14. Sneak out of your room into the spare bedroom and try to move the stroller from the closet in there into your room. (Note from Mom: OMG WTF??)
15. Cry loudly when mom catches you and puts you back into your room.
16. Plot your revenge.
17. The stuffed animals are arguing. Mediate.
18. Fondly recall how you snuck a bag of cookies out of the pantry while mom was making lunch, climbed up on her desk and got the scissors and opened the bag all by yourself. Also recall bafflement when mom did not praise you for that.
19. Belly crawl from bedroom to where mom is to a) see if she notices, b) potentially scare the pooh out of her, c) see if she relents on the whole nap idea, d) all of the above.
20. Muse about new and more inventive ways to drive mom crazy.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Binky Saga Concludes?

Graduated from Binky, at last!
Almost two weeks ago the two remaining binkies both went missing. Although many of Angie's toys "mysteriously disappeared" that same day (while she was at her grandparent's house) I had nothing to do with the binkies' disappearance. I swear.

Monday night, the first night they were missing, was awful. She cried. She whined. She begged. She sniveled. I swore to her I didn't know where it was. I searched the house top to bottom - six times. Finally she cried herself to sleep.

Tuesday night was almost as bad, but didn't last as long.

Wednesday night was better, as was Thursday night. By Friday she mentioned it, but there were no more tears. I explained again that I had looked and looked, but the binky was missing.

Saturday afternoon Angie comes running out of her room "Mommy!! I found binky!!"

Damn, I thought. "Oh good," I said without much feeling and a fake smile.

Saturday night I dubiously handed Angie her binky, "I bet it tastes yucky, and it's all chewed up," I commented.

Then the most incredible thing happened... although she had immediately popped it into her mouth, she had put it back on her nightstand when I went in later to check on her!

For almost a week now she's barely touched it. She's asked for the other (still missing) binky a few times, but it's not in much better condition than the one she found is.

Finally potty trained and binky free? Wow. I'm so happy! I wasn't sure this day would ever come.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Kids Don't Care

Kids don't care when Mommy is sick, or tired, or sick and tired. 
Mom doesn't always look happy.

Kids don't care about the rules.

Kids don't care about gender specific costumes. 
Angie Lightyear, to the rescue!

Kids don't care about privacy. Theirs or yours 
Reading in the John starts early.

Kids don't care about "personal space".
No, I don't mind, why do you ask?

 Kids don't care about getting messy.
But it's fun!

 Kids don't care about stereotypes.
I'm a motorcycle riding princess, ye-haw!

 Did I mention that kids don't care about getting messy?
Powder-Palooza 2010.

 Kids don't care about fashion or making sense.
Better safe than sorry.

 Kids don't care about looking silly.
Downward Facing Toddler.

 Kids don't care what's in the package, it's still exciting.
Sometimes the package is more exciting.

Kids don't care if you were planning on them or not.
First smile.

Kids don't care that it was really you who hid the eggs. 

Kids don't care if their artwork is museum quality or not. 
Aunt Stephanie

Kids don't care if their makeup is on perfectly or not. 

Did I mention that kids don't care about being silly? 

I don't know about you, but I want to be more like my kid. :)

Happy Mother's Day!
Take a cue from your kids and stop caring about the things that really don't matter. 

As one of my friends pointed out... they're just like mini-Honey Badgers! LOL 

Friday, May 6, 2011

May Mom's Blog Hop

Here's the full list of the wonderful ladies participating in this year's May Mom Blog Hop. I invite you to visit their blogs. Such great, heartfelt, funny, poignant and wonderful blogs. I'm honored to be included among their ranks! I've also included their Twitter names, so you can keep in touch with them there. 

Nadia - Musings By The Light Of The Moon - @NadiaR13
Christine - All About Momsense - @ChristineMarie_
Crystal - Domestic But Not Martha - @DmstcBtNtMartha
Dana - The Sears Family  - @DanaSearsFam
Kimberly - All Work & No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something - @momgosomething
Corinne - Ode to Blogging - @CorinneOFlynn
Jennifer - JennHeffer - @jennheffer
Jana - The Bees Knees - @ohheyitsj
Deborah - The Truth About Motherhood - @TruthfulMommy
Ani - Anime's Musings - @ThatGirlAni
Julie - I Love Purple More Than You - @Gsnaps
Jill - Yeah. Good Times. - @jillsmo
Jacki  -What Did She Say? - @jackiyo
Brandi - The Adventures of a Dysfunctional Supermom - @DysfuncSupermom
Theresa - My Life As Taz - @RockOnMommies
Sara - Momma Findings - @sarann
Carrie - The Sweetest - @TheSweetest3
Debra - Write On Target - @debralynnlazar
Jen - Little Miss Mocha - @littlemissmocha
Amy - Transplanted Thoughts - @transplantedx3
Leslie - Leslie Gail's Blog - New Life Focus - @GR8lifecoach
Natalie - Mommy of A Monster - @mommyofamonster
Karmen - Family Sized Fun - @FamilySizedFun
JC - Little Animation  - @LittleAnimation
Adrienne - On the Road Less Taken - @adriennemay
Kelly - Go Go Gadget Zen - @modinkpeeb
Susan - Memoirs of a Writer -@narrawriter
Elizabeth - Mother's Gilt - @MothersGilt
Allana Pratt - Blog and Vlog Musings - @allanapratt
Kelley - Kelley's Break Room - @KelleysBreakRm
and me! @MrsPickle_

Thursday, May 5, 2011

An Ode to Angelina Jean

First off, I'd like to thank Christine and Nadia for hosting this May Mom Blog Hop. Thirty-one of us are part of the hop, one posting on each day in May, in celebration of motherhood. I am honored to be included!

It has only just begun, and I've already found so many great new blogs and Tweeters. If you've missed any of the blog hop so far, be sure to check out:
Moments of Motherhood by Nadia
Respect, Appreciation and Love by Christine
May Mom Blog by Crystal, and
Motherhood Includes by Dana

Some of these posts have extolled the virtues of motherhood; how great, fulfilling and totally awesome it can be. I don't disagree, there are certainly moments that being a mother is very rewarding.

There are also plenty of times when it is exhausting, frustrating and just plain hard. I have had days where I tearfully tell my husband that if I were failing at anything else as badly as I'm failing at motherhood, I'd have given up by now.

I think the best thing I have discovered on Twitter is that I am not alone in this. Some days I comfort other mothers at their wit's end. Others, I vent my feelings to my virtual friends or cry on their distant shoulders. And their blogs? Fantastic. Helpful. Informative. FUNNY. Poignant. Real. If you're a parent, or even just a sympathetic bystander, you should definitely follow along this month.


Angelina, which means Angel, had a name picked out almost three years before she was born. I had dreams about her. I had always known she was coming, someday. I couldn't figure out why she had made me wait so long, until right before she was born.

As you may know, Angie saved my life and my sanity when she was born. After more than two years of trying, my husband and I finally conceived a child - only to lose it seven weeks later. It was a tubal pregnancy. I woke up from what was supposed to be a D&C to find out that one of my tubes had had to be removed. I spent weeks crying to Lenny that I was broken.

Then, six weeks after I lost the first baby, I was pregnant again! For a long time I still cried for "Peanut," but Angie was due on 7/7/07 which I prayed would bring us luck.

On June 5th, four weeks before she was due, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I've written several blogs about my experience, which was just about as fantastic as it could have been, if you're interested. That day my surgeon told me to expect to have Angie that week. My OB/GYN argued, successfully, that we could wait until Angie was at 38 weeks.

I was in labor for 56 hours. I have already informed my boss and my husband that I will never work on June 23rd again. Angie was almost named Angelina Staydol after the drug that kept me relatively pain free for all those hours. They couldn't do a C-Section, because I was to start chemo two weeks later.

Yet, I was still able to make bad jokes... I told my doctor. "Doc, if I don't have this baby soon, I'm going to have a Cancer." She groaned, "Wendy, only you could make that joke." (Angie was supposed to be a Gemini, but since she delayed so long she is a Cancer. Bad joke, I know, but women with cancer in labor for 56 hours have special dispensation.)

Then finally, Angie was born. Healthy, whole and perfect. I was so thankful. I was 35 when she was conceived, 36 when she was born. I had refused genetic testing. I had cancer for crying out loud. I knew that I was blessed.

Then, after she was born, instead of my very first thought in the morning being "I have cancer" it became "I have a little girl!". Instead of focusing on the horror of breast cancer at 36, chemotherapy and suggestions that I should have a double mastectomy, I had something much better to focus on - Angie. She saved my sanity.

Later I would realize that her timing had been perfect. Had I given birth in April with Peanut, I may not have found the cancer until it was too late. As it was, the tumor had gone from the size of a marble to the size of a golf ball in only three weeks. She saved my life.

Not to mention that since I was on maternity leave I could better manage my crazy cancer patient schedule and not have to deal with work too.

It's been almost four years now. I remain cancer free after my treatments. Angie is no longer a baby, but now a "big girl" with "big girl panties" to prove it.

My husband often accuses me of being too lenient with her. Maybe I am, but I hate incessant whining love her so much. Nothing makes me happier than to see her happy. That, or I use her as a cover so I can add to my stuffed animal collection. Although I would gladly give my life for this child, her first act was to save mine.

I have always believed that she chose me, I didn't choose her. I remind us both of that when I feel like I'm failing at being a good mom.

Remember, you chose me.
"Remember," I tell her, "you chose me."

Think about that for a moment. What if we do choose our parents before we're born. Why did you choose your mother, what lessons did she teach you? What lessons did you teach her? Why did your children choose you? You may think that you're doing all the teaching, but pause for a moment to appreciate all that they're teaching you.

What did Angie teach me? That sometimes timing is everything. That often we have to wait for things we desperately want. That everything happens in its own time. That love really is the answer.

Thank you sweetheart.

Next up, is a blog by Kimberly at All Work & No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something. Be sure to check her blog out tomorrow!

Thank you for stopping by :)

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Binky Down... Binky Down!

Angie's almost four now, and still addicted to her Binky. She's only allowed Binky at nap and bedtime, but if given the opportunity she'll sneak it like a reluctantly reformed smoker. She's very good at it. I'm always torn between being impressed with her sneaky skills, appalled at her still wanting that darn thing and concerned about her sneaky skills...

As I've mentioned before, it's a hard habit to break. I had decided that once we got potty training down pat (a work in progress and the topic Thursday's blog) we'd tackle the Binky Situation. However, I have kept my eyes open for good suggestions on how to break the habit, once the time comes.

A few of the many:

  • Attach it to a balloon and release it (All Binkies Go to Heaven?)
  • Hang them on a Binky Tree
  • "Donate" them to a baby who doesn't have a binky
  • If given the opportunity, pretend it was lost
  • Trade it for a much wanted toy
For at least a year now, I have refused to replace her now chewed and broken binkies, in hopes that she'd give them up on her own - no luck. Up until this morning there were three of them in the house. Now there are two. 

This morning, after Angie went potty, green binky fell out of her mouth as she was flushing the toilet. Whoops! She immediately started lamenting its loss, "Binky!" she yelled plaintively down the toilet after it. I looked, gone. Poor kid. 

It was all I could do not to laugh. #meanmommy

Now I'm secretly plotting the demise of the other two... 

I figure if they meet with some tragic fate, right before her eyes, maybe she'll be more accepting. After her crying fit this morning, she said "Oh well," and later mentioned that green binky was gone now when I picked her up from school. (There's hope!)

In other news, did you know that it's against the law for 4 year olds to have a binky? (Plan B) True story...