Pages

Friday, September 6, 2013

Retrospection

I was asked to write an article for an upcoming issue of I-Merge Magazine about my experience with breast cancer. I have to tell you, it stirred up a lot of old emotions. I went back and looked at old blog posts and the letter I sent out to at least 50 people with my little breast cancer duckies and.... wow... I was laughing, I was tearing up...

I am so lucky and I don't truly appreciate that enough. I am lucky that I had such a great experience and met so many wonderful people. I am lucky to have had a wonderfully supportive husband - when so many do not. I was lucky to have beat cancer period, and to have done it laughing (for the most part) all of the way. Each sad story had a glimmer of humor to it...

Like when Lenny shaved my head, and I later took the vacuum hose to my head because all of the little hairs falling out drove me crazy.



When I wore that silly x-ray robe over my belly when I got my mammogram (because I was pregnant).

When all of my eyelashes fell out, except for one. ONE! So I plucked that stupid thing. Rebel hair...

How nice it was not to have to shave my legs for a few months. Normally, after just one day I'm stubbly.

When I asked my male, bald co-workers if their heads just randomly started to sweat and they looked at me like I was crazy. Then later, when my chemo nurse told me that I was having hot flashes... OH.... heh...

And when my old boss asked me why I'd shaved my head when we were in a meeting, because he had no clue I was battling cancer (and apparently that idea hadn't dawned on him. "Ok... Wendy had a baby, then shaved her head... that's odd...")

Or when I "dedicated" songs to cancer... like Christina Aguilera's Fighter. (Makes me that much stronger, Makes me work a little bit harder, It makes me that much wiser, So thanks for making me a fighter)

And when I'd cry all the way home from work because it was the only time I was by myself and didn't have to be "strong" for everyone else. Then I'd listen to Beautiful (also by Christina) and see how far I could get into the song before just totally losing it. I was beautiful... and bald.

And the people I met along the way, and am still meeting, because of cancer... wow... amazing people.

But still, I'd like very much not to do it again. Five... almost six... years out from all treatment. My fingers are crossed!!