Tuesday, February 15, 2011

My friend's almost 100 followers contest

My friend Corinne O'Flynn is having a My *almost* 100 Followers Contest on her blog. As of this moment, she has 97 followers. I can understand her impatience though, if I had 97 followers I'd be excited too.

A shout out to my six followers, you rock!

Does anyone else misspell six as sex? Both times I typed it...

Anyways... where was I...

Oh yeah, so Corinne is having a contest and she's giving away Girl Scout Cookies. Seems like people have been talking about Girl Scout Cookies all day!

And I am nothing if not a supportive friend.

Speaking of support (this is really how my mind works) at dinner my husband was playing a game on my iPad and he says "Gravity really works against you," to which I replied "Yeah, I know" as I cupped my.... uh... well you get the picture.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Motherhood is HARD

I have a few friends who are great examples of the quintessential mother.

They LOVE being a mom.

It fulfills them like nothing else ever has.

They weren't complete until they were mothers.

I am not one of those mothers. I'm here to tell you, Motherhood is HARD.

No one ever warned me how hard it would be. And you know, that's not easy to admit. There's a certain pressure to be that quintessential mother. To selflessly give up whomever you used to be to become simply "Mom". This has not been an easy transition for me.

Maybe it's because I was 36 by the time I had Angie. This wasn't on purpose mind you, fate just determined that she wasn't going to make an appearance before then. And it's not to suggest that I don't love my daughter - far from it. But by 36 I was selfish - selfish about my time, selfish about what I want to do, selfish about life in general.

Selfish, selfish, selfish!

Couple that with the fact that I've never really been around kids my entire life, and sometimes I'm just not sure what I'm doing.

At the end of one particularly rough evening, I told my husband "If I felt like this much of a failure at anything else I was trying to do, I would have given up by now." I cried myself to sleep that night, and many others before and after it.

But you can't give up, all you can do is pray you're not screwing your kid up, realize that tomorrow is a new day and keep pushing forward.

Don't get me wrong, I don't regret being a mom, I just struggle with it sometimes. Slowly I've come to realize that I shouldn't be ashamed about it and that perhaps I'm not alone. Occasionally I catch a glimpse of my struggle in another mother's eyes and it brings me some small comfort.

Sorry, my Super Mom friends, but sometimes your superness is a bit daunting for us mere mortal moms. Oh we smile and nod when you wax poetically about how motherhood has completed you, but give us some credit for not pinning you to the floor until you admit that sometimes, sometimes you miss being just you for even a few minutes.

But there's hope! Over the past few weeks we've been slowly growing out of the terrible threes and Angie has been showing a much calmer side. We actually almost have conversations now. I'm certain she's brilliant and probably has a sarcastic wit she's just now testing out.

Take the ride into school/work on Friday for instance. From the backseat Angie asks "Mom, are we here yet"?

"No, we're not... uh..."

"We're not here?"

"Yes... we're here."


She also cheats at Candy Land if you're not paying attention. Plays games like Angry Birds, Cut the Rope, The Moron Test and (of all things) Monopoly on my iPad, better than many of the adults I know. Did I mention that she's just three and a half?

I am looking increasingly forward to the future with her. The last half of the twos and the first half of the threes have been particularly hard, but things are definitely looking up. She asks me almost daily "Mommy, are you my friend?"

"Yes, sweetheart. I am your friend. I am your best friend."

Until she gets mad at me, and then it's "You're not my friend!"

That's when I look Angie straight in the eye and say "remember, you picked me."

So, if you're a new mother, or contemplating motherhood, all I can tell you is that Motherhood is HARD. Someone should admit that to you. When they say that motherhood is the toughest job you'll ever love, that's not just a cute saying, it's true. And while I don't love motherhood 100% of the time, I love her 1,000% of the time. It's what keeps me pushing forward each day as Angie and I try to figure this thing out together. Sure, I'm selfish, but I can't imagine my life without her in it.

Look at that smile. I wouldn't have missed it for the world.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Ode to Series Books

Gosh, now that I've reached the big Oh-6 (followers that is) I guess I should actually start posting regularly again. We can't all be as cool, or as talented and pretty as Elizabeth, but I suppose we can try. :)

Alrighty then, I was going to post about Vampires, social media and thinking outside the box or possibly about how my social media efforts at work are going, but instead I decided to write today about series books.

I LOVE series books. It is quite possible that this love was born when I was seven, which would put it as an almost 32 year old obsession (no wait... almost 33 years... yikes!), born from reading Nancy Drew and Trixie Belden books. It might give you a glimpse into my personality - I have often remarked that some of my best friends live within the pages of my favorite books. Series books allow me to spend more time with those friends. I was an only child and we moved around a lot, is it any wonder?

Anyways, I thought I'd share with you some of my favorite series books.

Besides Nancy and Trixie, the first series I recall collecting is the Xanth series from Piers Anthony. Unfortunately the series grew tiresome and far too "punny" at some point, but it was several books in (in the teens I'm certain) and the first several books are VERY good.

Yes, when I say series books, I'm not talking about a single sequel, but three or more books. To me, the more, the better - if they're well written.

David Eddings' Belgariad and Mallorian series, along with the Belgarath and Polgara books and the compendium, total 13 books and if he released another today I'd be first in line to buy it. In fact, I'm actually listening to Polgara's book on audiobook right now.

Another series by Piers Anthony is the Incarnations of Immortality. Death, Fate, Nature, Time, War and even Good and Evil all have their own book. Excellent series that you can read on two levels - simple enjoyment or a deeper level that will leave you thinking.

Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series. These books are very detailed, but they draw you in very deeply. The first time I read Outlander I literally finished the last page and started reading it over again. I mentioned these books in my last post too. If I were stuck on a desert island, Outlander is the book I'd want with me.

Kay Hooper's Bishop series is also excellent. It's about FBI agents who each have some psychic ability. Enthralling books.

There's William Diehl and Thomas Harris with their serial killer series'. Oh, and who could forget Jeff Linsday's Dexter series or Kathy Reich's Temperance Brennan series? Then there are the romance series books - Sabrina Jeffries, Mary Balogh, Stephanie Laurens (I think I have the most of her books out of any author - 32!), Julia Quinn.. they all have really well done series books.

Which reminds me. If you have an iPod/iPad/iPhone and a book collection, or simply love to read and are tired of buying books you already have because they changed the cover and re-released it check out my very favorite app - Book Crawler. This simple to use database helped me catalog my entire library (close to 900 books) in just a few hours. Finally, after thirty years, I have a running list of the books I own that I have with me all the time - and I cannot tell you how happy that makes me! Is it possible to be a book geek? :) I think I'm just so very happy to be able to read for pleasure again, I'm almost giddy with it!