Negativity - How do you keep it at bay? #AtoZChallenge

Negativity... it can be hard to avoid. It's like a mist that sneaks up and envelops you before you ever see it coming.

It's catchy too; when you're around someone who is in a negative mood, it's hard not to follow suit.

I really, really try to be positive. I believe that happiness is a choice, but some days it's really hard.

What do you do to avoid negativity? How to you keep it from sapping your energy, your enthusiasm and your joy?

"The Talk" we Never Got - Menopause #AtoZChallenge

I still remember way back in grade school when they split the girls off into a class to give us "The Talk" about what to expect when we got our periods.

I like how Ovulation is depicted here, LOL

Later (or perhaps earlier) we got "The Talk" about where babies come from.

(I haven't read this book, but I liked the picture)

But, I realized about nine years ago, no one ever gives us "The Talk" about Menopause. Instead one day your head catches on fire, you're in a crappy mood, depressed for no reason and realize you haven't had a period in far too long.

Welcome to Menopause!

I've actually done it twice; here's my favorite menopause story... I had started chemo for breast cancer and lost all of my hair. Then one day I realized that sometimes my head would just start SWEATING, for no reason. I wondered if maybe this had always happened, but I didn't notice it when I had hair. So I asked my bald, male friends. "Does your head just start to... sweat... for no reason?"

Yeah, they looked at me like you're looking at me now... "Uh... no...?"

So I mentioned it to my chemo nurse, who laughed and said "Oh honey, that's a hot flash."

Who knew?

If you haven't had a hot flash this is what it's like... normal, normal, norm- HOT, OMG IT'S 1,000 DEGREES IN HERE! OM... normal, normal.

Yes, out of the blue you suddenly feel like you're on fire. You break into a sweat at night, regardless of the temperature of the room, and are moody and depressed. You put on weight, especially around your waist, lose your libido and forget stuff.

My body recovered from the chemo-inducted menopause for a few years, and then I got to do it all over again. Yippee!

However, now that I'm on the other side, I have to say that menopause is one of the best things ever.

No periods, period!

Sure, I have a crappy memory and have to attach my keys to my wallet so I don't leave home without both. I'm moody with an annoying spare tire and a ton of anxiety, but those are all normal side effects that I can manage with attitude, True Focus (an herbal supplement), Essential Oils, Google and putting my phone to work for me.

It's possible that I am "a lean thinker" because of menopause; it really changes everything. But don't fear it, it's natural and happens to all of us. Embrace the perks - no periods, no birth control!

I found ways to manage the symptoms naturally, like Black Cohosh for hot flashes, St. John's Word for mood and exercise. Just be sure to talk to your doctor before taking any supplements, as some of them may affect other medication you take.

I am often surprised by women I talk to who feel something akin to shame or depression about menopause - it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's the start of the next phase in our lives, just like getting our period so many years ago was the first step into that phase of our lives. Embrace the change, because you can't avoid it.

Expressing Yourself, Not Always Easy #AtoZChallenge

My skis right where I wanted them...
i.e. not on me.

Last month my husband tried to kill me. I'm not sure why, but probably because I'm a huge pain in the ass.

I am not athletic. Sporty things do not come naturally to me. He, on the other hand, slapped on his skis and away he went. Oh sure, he'd had a lesson... once... when he was 14... thirty years ago now. No matter, swish swish swish and off he goes.

Me? I had to be tricked down the hill by my poor, underpaid ski instructor who was forced to ski backwards down the hill. He had to coax me along clinging for dear life to the ski poles he held out in front of him for me to grasp.

Anytime he tried to make me go on my own, I promptly lost control and threw myself to the ground.

Pathetic, I know. The moments I wasn't terrified, I was absolutely humiliated.

Good times.

When we finally got to the bottom we had to ride the ski lift back up the hill. Only slightly above my fear of stripping slippery sticks to my feet and sliding down a hill to my death is my fear of heights. I whimpered all of the way to the top of the hill and then promptly fell off the ski lift in a heap. They had to stop the lift so I could crawl away in shame.

When my poor instructor made it to the top he slapped on a happy face and said "ready to go again?" I was nice, and thanked him profusely for his time, but told him that there was absolutely no way I was ever doing that again, thank you very much.

My husband tells me I don't communicate well when I don't want to do something. Personally I thought refusing to put my skis on and bursting into tears when the instructor showed up was pretty telling, but men hate subtle.

So, one of my goals this year is to express myself better, even if it's not always easy.

Don't grow up, it's a trap #AtoZChallenge

I'm still waiting to really feel like "an adult". I pay bills, I own a home, I have a car loan, I have a husband and a child, I'm 45 now and yet most of the time I still feel like I'm just totally winging it.

So what does being "an adult" really mean? Well, here's a few things I've come up with...

• Ability to Google life's mysteries, like what to make for dinner.
• Ability to search YouTube for assistance, like figuring out how to use software or paint a tree.
• Willingness to take responsibility for your actions, your words and what you expect from yourself. 
• Remaining optimistic, but not naive. 
• Restraining pessimism. 
• Figuring out that road rage is a waste of time and energy. You'll get there when you get there, and bonus, you'll be alive. 
• Audiobooks help stave off road rage.
• Karma is real.
• (And it's going to get that jerk who cut me off...)
• Work with, and never, ever against, Murphy's Law. 
• Never say "never" - trust me on this one.
• The Universe likes to make you eat your words and especially likes the taste of "never".
• Life is not a competition or a race, it's a journey.
• No one gets out alive, so enjoy it.
• Happiness is a choice. Choose to be happy.
• Put everything in perspective - will [life-shattering-event] matter in six months or five years? Perhaps, but you'll be stronger for it, even if it sucks now.

Perhaps it all boils down to not losing your wide-eyed optimism and enjoyment of life :)

Don't grow up, it's a trap!

What are your adulting tips? 

Adulting #AtoZChallenge

In two short days, I will be 45... how the Hell did that happen? Surely there's a typo somewhere. Forty-five is mid-life, right? Am I required to buy a sports car and pursue men half my age? I hope not, because I have this fear of a monster truck rolling over me if I stop short in a car, so I avoid cars that are low to the ground and honestly, I'm too tired to chase anyone.

Anywho where was I? Oh yes, the annual A to Z Challenge. The one month out of the year I manage to blog every day and then May 1st hits and my Muse hits the road. 

This year's theme... Adulting, or more precisely the things I have learned that make adulting easier (or as avoidable as possible in some cases). Over the past few years I've learned that I am "Lean"; not skinny mind you, but a "lean thinker". I've also been exploring meditation, reading up on embracing my inner sloth, using technology to help me to remember... uh... well whatever I usually forget and other helpful things. 

Hopefully I can pass along a few ideas that you'll find useful. I'll also very likely toss in some audiobook reviews of some really great books that you too might enjoy (even if you choose to read them, rather than listen to them). 

If you'd like to join the challenge - it's a lot of fun - it's not too late to sign up. Join us! Visit: http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/