Jealousy Makes Me Blog Crazy Things

Yesterday evening I was catching up on my blog reading and I stumbled onto a new one - this is not that blog by Kendall. Her most recent post started off with the warning that today was probably not the best day to start reading her blog.

I had perfect timing, as usual!

That particular post is entitled "bear suits make everything better" and OMG is it funny!

You should go read it.

Yes, right now. Go. I'll wait. Trust me, the rest of this blog will only make complete sense if you do.

Funny, huh?

She and Little Animation - The Animated Woman make me wish I could draw. You want to go look at that blog too? Fine. I'll wait...

Ok, so anyways, if you blog you know that you can go look to see what search keywords were used to find your blog.

You didn't know that? You want to go check your search keywords right now? Fine... I'll wait...

Back? OK good. So, most of the search terms are pretty tame, but occasionally you get a really interesting one. Well, I should say some people do, my results are above and and as you can see not much exciting there.

Alright, sure, "im a cage dancer" is kind of interesting, but not nearly as cool as "fuck your shit i'm in a bear suit" or finding out that your blog is getting repeated hits from a website for people who have a fetish for getting stuck to things, like @Moooooog35.

Yes, you should go read that blog post too, but it can wait until you're done here.

So some of my Twitter friends and I were whining musing about our lack of interesting keyword search results and @Matt_Conlon came up with the idea of a Blog Ring for crazy search phrases - either to report them or to inspire them.

Do you have interesting search results to share? Do you wish you did? (Come on, you know you do). Join us!

Go check your search results (or start a blog, you slacker!!). Click here: here. Post your craziest search to date and then go back and post something nutty on your blog to see if you can get even better results to report!

The Art of Avoiding Nap Time, by Angelina

Guest Blog today by Angelina Jean, aged (almost) 4.

Twenty tried and true ways to avoid napping:

1. Make your bed.
2. Insist you need a certain stuffed animal, in addition to the 20 already on your bed. (this also works well at bed time)
3. These phrases: "I'm thirsty", "I have to go potty", (fake a sneeze) "I need a tissue"
4. Undress your doll babies.
5. Dress your doll babies.
6. Sing.
7. Sing louder (words are optional).
8. Change your clothes.
9. Climb the furniture.
10. Pull every single toy you own out of wherever it is and spread them all around the floor.
11. Build a mountain of toys to climb up to reach objects on shelves. (Why do mom's put stuff on shelves? I mean really... obviously they want us to climb up there to see.)
12. Read a book (reading ability not required).
13. Fulfill your sudden desire to hang up every piece of clothing you own.
14. Sneak out of your room into the spare bedroom and try to move the stroller from the closet in there into your room. (Note from Mom: OMG WTF??)
15. Cry loudly when mom catches you and puts you back into your room.
16. Plot your revenge.
17. The stuffed animals are arguing. Mediate.
18. Fondly recall how you snuck a bag of cookies out of the pantry while mom was making lunch, climbed up on her desk and got the scissors and opened the bag all by yourself. Also recall bafflement when mom did not praise you for that.
19. Belly crawl from bedroom to where mom is to a) see if she notices, b) potentially scare the pooh out of her, c) see if she relents on the whole nap idea, d) all of the above.
20. Muse about new and more inventive ways to drive mom crazy.

The Binky Saga Concludes?

Graduated from Binky, at last!

Almost two weeks ago the two remaining binkies both went missing. Although many of Angie's toys "mysteriously disappeared" that same day (while she was at her grandparent's house) I had nothing to do with the binkies' disappearance. I swear.

Monday night, the first night they were missing, was awful. She cried. She whined. She begged. She sniveled. I swore to her I didn't know where it was. I searched the house top to bottom - six times. Finally she cried herself to sleep.

Tuesday night was almost as bad, but didn't last as long.

Wednesday night was better, as was Thursday night. By Friday she mentioned it, but there were no more tears. I explained again that I had looked and looked, but the binky was missing.

Saturday afternoon Angie comes running out of her room "Mommy!! I found binky!!"

Damn, I thought. "Oh good," I said without much feeling and a fake smile.

Saturday night I dubiously handed Angie her binky, "I bet it tastes yucky, and it's all chewed up," I commented.

Then the most incredible thing happened... although she had immediately popped it into her mouth, she had put it back on her nightstand when I went in later to check on her!

For almost a week now she's barely touched it. She's asked for the other (still missing) binky a few times, but it's not in much better condition than the one she found is.

Finally potty trained and binky free? Wow. I'm so happy! I wasn't sure this day would ever come.

Kids Don't Care

Kids don't care when Mommy is sick, or tired, or sick and tired. 

Mom doesn't always look happy.

Kids don't care about the rules.

Ppppbbbbbttttttt!

Kids don't care about gender specific costumes. 

Angie Lightyear, to the rescue!

Kids don't care about privacy. Theirs or yours 

Reading in the John starts early.

Kids don't care about "personal space".

No, I don't mind, why do you ask?

 Kids don't care about getting messy.

But it's fun!

 Kids don't care about stereotypes.

I'm a motorcycle riding princess, ye-haw!

 Did I mention that kids don't care about getting messy?

Powder-Palooza 2010.

 Kids don't care about fashion or making sense.

Better safe than sorry.

 Kids don't care about looking silly.

Downward Facing Toddler.

 Kids don't care what's in the package, it's still exciting.

Sometimes the package is more exciting.

Kids don't care if you were planning on them or not.

First smile.

Kids don't care that it was really you who hid the eggs. 

Kids don't care if their artwork is museum quality or not. 

Aunt Stephanie

Kids don't care if their makeup is on perfectly or not. 

Gorgeous! 

Did I mention that kids don't care about being silly? 

CHEEEEEEEEEEEESE!

I don't know about you, but I want to be more like my kid. :)

Happy Mother's Day!

Take a cue from your kids and stop caring about the things that really don't matter. 

As one of my friends pointed out... they're just like mini-Honey Badgers! LOL 

May Mom's Blog Hop

Here's the full list of the wonderful ladies participating in this year's May Mom Blog Hop. I invite you to visit their blogs. Such great, heartfelt, funny, poignant and wonderful blogs. I'm honored to be included among their ranks! I've also included their Twitter names, so you can keep in touch with them there. 

Nadia - Musings By The Light Of The Moon - @NadiaR13
Christine - All About Momsense - @ChristineMarie_
Crystal - Domestic But Not Martha - @DmstcBtNtMartha
Dana - The Sears Family  - @DanaSearsFam
Kimberly - All Work & No Play Makes Mommy Go Something Something - @momgosomething
Corinne - Ode to Blogging - @CorinneOFlynn
Jennifer - JennHeffer - @jennheffer
Jana - The Bees Knees - @ohheyitsj
Deborah - The Truth About Motherhood - @TruthfulMommy
Ani - Anime's Musings - @ThatGirlAni
Julie - I Love Purple More Than You - @Gsnaps
Jill - Yeah. Good Times. - @jillsmo
Jacki  -What Did She Say? - @jackiyo
Brandi - The Adventures of a Dysfunctional Supermom - @DysfuncSupermom
Theresa - My Life As Taz - @RockOnMommies
Sara - Momma Findings - @sarann
Carrie - The Sweetest - @TheSweetest3
Debra - Write On Target - @debralynnlazar
Jen - Little Miss Mocha - @littlemissmocha
Amy - Transplanted Thoughts - @transplantedx3
Leslie - Leslie Gail's Blog - New Life Focus - @GR8lifecoach
Natalie - Mommy of A Monster - @mommyofamonster
Karmen - Family Sized Fun - @FamilySizedFun
JC - Little Animation  - @LittleAnimation
Adrienne - On the Road Less Taken - @adriennemay
Kelly - Go Go Gadget Zen - @modinkpeeb
Susan - Memoirs of a Writer -@narrawriter
Elizabeth - Mother's Gilt - @MothersGilt
Allana Pratt - Blog and Vlog Musings - @allanapratt
Kelley - Kelley's Break Room - @KelleysBreakRm
and me! @MrsPickle_