Just Kaizen... #AtoZChallenge

Last night I posted F is for Fatigue... which is crazy because I posted on F last Saturday (it's the A to Z Challenge, don't ya know?). Yesterday's letter was J. So, I guess I was more fatigued than I thought. Huh... totally didn't realize that until just now.

And nobody noticed... ;)

Kaizen, if you don't know, is the Japanese word for improvement or change for the better. This concept, as I have mentioned, is something I hold near and dear to my heart. I am always trying to improve - myself and the world immediately around me. I"m not always successful, but I do try.

When I grow up, I'd like to be a Dream Manager - helping to improve other's lives by helping them realize their dreams, no matter what they are. If you haven't read it, I can't recommend Matthew Kelly's Dream Manager book enough. It should be mandatory reading for managers. It's all about achieving business success by helping employees achieve personal success.

Today I had a taste of that... while pondering a business problem with a co-worker, a perfect solution for her both personally and professionally occurred to me. She may never act on my suggestion, but I certainly gave her something to think about. It might mean a cut in pay, but it would mean a more fulfilling personal life. And really, what's the point of having a lot of money if you don't have time to enjoy it with your family?

We spend soooo much time at work. Life is too short to spend it working at a job you don't love, doing things that don't interest or enrich you... yeah, I know... that's a lot easier said than done. No really, I totally get that.

I came across a quote on Facebook a week or so ago, it went something like this:

If Saturday and Sunday don't excite you, change your friends. If Monday doesn't motivate you, change your profession.

I was totally going to post the actual quote (it was a jpg)... but the Grammarian in me would not allow it. It had too many errors in it... like "ur", not your, and "dont" not don't *shutter*

Anyway... wow. Simple, yet really rough; a lot easier said than done. But it's something to consider.

Shew... ok... time to move on to something less complicated, like.... today's photo of the day: in the fridge

I'm not MrsPickle for nothin' :)

My Thoughts on Atlas Shrugged

In January I discovered Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand on Audible.com. Wow... incredible book.

In fact, it was so incredible that I immediately listed to it again. All sixty hours of it. That translates to over 1,000 pages if you read the book.

I have heard it said that Atlas Shrugged is the second most influential book next to the Bible. I can believe it. I wish I had read it 20 years ago. It helped me to define various concepts that I have struggled with in building my own philosophy. I highly recommend it!

If you haven't read the book, but think you hate it, Ayn Rand and everything they have to say - go read it before you make up your mind based on what others have said.

If you watched the movie, let me tell you they cut out so much of the book I have no clue what conclusions you may have drawn. Don't let the movie, which I assume left you very confused, dissuade you from reading the book.

If fact, if you have a commute at all I highly recommend you get the audio book read by Scott Brick. His rendition of the book is phenomenal. He's a great voice actor.

Of note, some of the concepts I enjoyed exploring the most were:

• the sanction of the victim - we allow people to make us feel guilty
• what money really represents - it is a symbol of the value we offer to others
• going on a mental strike - I think this may link to the modern day "disengaged employee" 
• rational selfishness - by being selfish you put yourself in a position where you can help others

I cannot recommend this book enough. It has changed my outlook on life. I have read a lot of great books, but this one really spoke to me.

After listening to it twice, I then followed up with Diana Hsieh's podcasts about the book - there are 20 of them. Also highly recommended!

Kids Don't Care

Kids don't care when Mommy is sick, or tired, or sick and tired. 

Mom doesn't always look happy.

Kids don't care about the rules.

Ppppbbbbbttttttt!

Kids don't care about gender specific costumes. 

Angie Lightyear, to the rescue!

Kids don't care about privacy. Theirs or yours 

Reading in the John starts early.

Kids don't care about "personal space".

No, I don't mind, why do you ask?

 Kids don't care about getting messy.

But it's fun!

 Kids don't care about stereotypes.

I'm a motorcycle riding princess, ye-haw!

 Did I mention that kids don't care about getting messy?

Powder-Palooza 2010.

 Kids don't care about fashion or making sense.

Better safe than sorry.

 Kids don't care about looking silly.

Downward Facing Toddler.

 Kids don't care what's in the package, it's still exciting.

Sometimes the package is more exciting.

Kids don't care if you were planning on them or not.

First smile.

Kids don't care that it was really you who hid the eggs. 

Kids don't care if their artwork is museum quality or not. 

Aunt Stephanie

Kids don't care if their makeup is on perfectly or not. 

Gorgeous! 

Did I mention that kids don't care about being silly? 

CHEEEEEEEEEEEESE!

I don't know about you, but I want to be more like my kid. :)

Happy Mother's Day!

Take a cue from your kids and stop caring about the things that really don't matter. 

As one of my friends pointed out... they're just like mini-Honey Badgers! LOL 

F is for Forty

If you've been paying any attention at all, you know that I just turned forty.

Or, as I have put it several times, "the big four OHHHhhhhh!" :)

For the past several months I've been asking my over-40 friends if 40 is indeed the new 30. They all said yes. Those under 40, however, looked skeptical.

I can tell you that 40 seems like an appropriate age to have a midlife crisis of some sort.

One of my friends bought a $50,000 Acura. He told me at the time that he'd told his wife that he was either going to get a car or a girlfriend. I suggested that the car would be cheaper in the long run. He later told me that buying the car completely took his mind off of turning 40 because he was in a panic over how he was going to make the payments.

The guy in the cubicle next to me at work quit his job as an Estimator to pursue his dream of becoming a chef.

Me? Well I've been working up to 40 for the past year or so. I lost a bunch of weight and finished college. I'm getting another tattoo in a few weeks. I didn't buy a fancy car, but I did buy my cube in December. I have no desire to be a chef, but if Jim Henson Studios happens to call and offer me a job as a Muppetier I am outta here.

Yes, I would love to be a Muppetier. I'd also love to be an FBI Profiler. Oddly, I think I'd be really good at both of them (perhaps even at the same time! LOL)

Other dream jobs include being an author (Bestseller, of course) or an Editor. Working for a gaming company or designing toys. Working in a think tank designing better ways to do things - research and development - or working at a bookstore. Or maybe a Dream Manager helping people determine what they want to do with their lives, and helping them to do it.

Gosh, I'm 40 now, I guess it's time I figured out what I want to be when I grow up! Oh, and I'd like a black on black Camero!

How does the picture tie in? We went shooting on my birthday. :)

Everything happens for a reason

I am a huge believer in Fate or Destiny or perhaps more specifically (vaguely?) that everything happens for a reason. Yes, Corinne, I know you don't like that saying but I think it fits and I forget how you put it :)

A few seemingly unrelated things seem to be happening around me right now. I starting using Twitter in December, at least partially because of work. Through Twitter I've made some new friends, most especially Corinne who I have so much in common with it's almost frightening. To top it off, lo and behold she's a writer.

Did you know I once fancied myself to be a writer? In fact, it's been my lifelong dream. One of my goals in life was to be a published author... by the time I was 30. I'll be 40 in a month and all I have to show for it is a half-finished manuscript I wrote almost a decade ago.

Maybe you fell into my life, Corinne, to push me back on that path? I inspired someone to write once and ironically my awe at how well he wrote stymied my own writing. I actually had an active following for my story - I posted it as I wrote it to a bulletin board. And then one day I stopped writing and apparently that was that.

Now that I've finished school I don't have a ready excuse anymore not to get back to writing. I think I'll look into joining the A-Z Blogging Challenge to get my creative juices flowing again. I have lots to write about, and a "heart story" to tell, I just need to buckle down and chase my dreams - it seems to be in fashion this year.

So anyways, my muse - Corinne - awarded me a Blog Award today! As you can see, she's a very clever muse, what better way to get me writing again?

Thank you Corinne, for giving me a kick in the ass, even if you didn't know you were or that I needed one. You can find Corinne's blog here, at www.corinneoflynn.com. Yes, she's so cool she has her own domain name. :)

As part of accepting this award, I have to share seven things about myself. I'll not copy and paste Corinne's list here, although I could with few edits, so as not to appear too much like a fan girl or copy cat.

1. I collect books and stuffed animals. At the risk of psychoanalysing myself here, I grew up an only child who moved around about every two years. I carried around a teddy bear with me for at least part of my freshman year in high school. Shockingly I was not all that popular. Thus some of my best friends, if not stuffed, could be found within the pages of the books I read and collected. I think that's why I am so fond of series books, I get to spend more time with my friends through them.

2. I am the most outgoing shy person you will ever meet. Because we moved around so much when I was growing up I had to learn how to insert myself into social situations, and I can, but at heart I'm very shy.

3. As I mentioned, I've always been a writer, just not a very dedicated one the last several years. In my defense, I have been rather busy these last few years.

4. I am a total geek. I love technology, computers, gaming and gadgets of all shapes, sizes and functions. I have a computer, a laptop, an iPod and an iPad - and I'm not sure how I could function without all of them.

5. I used to dance in a cage upstairs at a bar called Yo Mama's in New Orleans. Not for profit, but because I loved doing it. I was divorced, I smoke, drank, was in damn good shape and I had the time of my life. No, I didn't strip. If you're ever in New Orleans check out Yo Mama's they have best burgers and baked potatoes in the city, they're right off Bourbon Street and upstairs there's a smoky little bar with a cage at one end of the room. It's very empowering. I highly recommend it, especially if you're trying to rebuild your life, self-esteem and physique. ;)

6. I am a breast cancer survivor. If you peruse my blog you'll find it peppered with stories about my experience. I had quite possibly the best experience one could ever hope for with cancer. That being said, I'd rather not do it again. I go again in April for my annual "let's hope it's not back" series of tests. This June will be my 4th anniversary from diagnosis. My daughter will also be 4 that month. Yes, I was pregnant when I was diagnosed.

7. Although I started college right out of high school, I just earned my Bachelor's in Business Administration last October. I will walk in May of this year. It wasn't all laziness on my part that it took me so long. Every time I started school some dramatic, life-changing event would come along to knock me off course.

Ok, enough about me, let's talk about you! As part of this award I get to hand out five of my own!

A very dear friend of mine, Elizabeth, writes a lovely blog she calls Lizzy Writes. Her blog is so well put together and just plain perfect that you may not want to visit it if you're prone to blog envy. In addition to being an excellent and inspiring writer, she's also an excellent cook and often shares recipes.

I tripped over It's like I'm Mmmagic... about a year or so ago. I don't know Brandy, the author, but her blog has really touched me several times. Sometimes she makes me laugh out loud and sometimes she brings me to tears. She's been going through a hard time lately and has blogged about it. It's very moving. She also posts anonymous notes from her readers in what she calls "the secret project". It's a way for people to share their secrets, and often get feedback. It's often hilarious, sometimes sad and always entertaining. Brandy writes like I think... if that makes any sense.

Thinking Too Hard is a blog I only recently started following, but it's very well written. It's also heavy on my mind tonight because of her most recent post - This is not allowed. I've been there. I love that she uses music like I do. I don't compose it, I use it to heal my soul and to bolster it when it's pulled down.

Then there's Clever Girl Goes Blog, as her tagline says "sarcasm never looked so good". Her posts are often laugh out loud funny and drip sarcasm - which I find utterly endearing. I've been lurking, reading her blog for at least a year, probably longer. Highly recommended.

And last, but not least, is Corinne's Blog - Inside Looking Out. Corinne's posts are always entertaining and witty. If you like me at all, you'll love her. She's the me I'm still trying to be.

Funny, I only actually know one of these fine ladies, but they have all touched my life in one way or another. Compared to their blogs, mine really isn't anything super special and, as I mentioned, is sadly neglected. But now that I have a muse again, maybe we can fix that.

Thank you for dropping by!

So then what happened?

So here I was, feeling all proud of myself.

Mature.

Hello, my name is Wendy. I just turned 39 and I am mature. (Go me! - LOL)

I reviewed my life, determined that I was happy with who I am and let someone back into my world who I was never quite good enough for - my ex-husband. He flew in, befriended me on Facebook and had a few one-sided conversations with me and then...

BAM

He's gone.

His posts on my Facebook page

gone

His profile

gone

This has really left me feeling very conflicted.

Did the girlfriend say x-nay on the x-wifay?

Was Facebook just not for him?

Does he not have the courtesy to say good-bye?

Was I once again lacking in some undefined way?

Was he disappointed to find me happy, hearty and actually able to talk to him as an equal about more than one topic?

Am I just petty or too sensitive? Yeah, maybe.

Maybe he'll sweep back in one day and I'll get to feel all mature again and can ask him.

Until then I childishly feel like I wasted some of my maturity on him - LOL.

But it begs the question- do we secretly hope that once a relationship ends the other party ends up sad, desolate, alone and miserable; cursing the day they let you go? And if we cross paths with them at some later date are we proud to be happy and perhaps quietly disappointed to find that they are too?

So I guess this is just another piece in my social networking series, and further proof that blogging helps you get stuff off of your chest so you can move on.

To Blog or Not to Blog... Perchance to Rant

So, today's question is whether to start a blog, and further whether it should be anonymous or not. First off, I recommend blogging highly. It hones your writing skills, it gives you an outlet, it helps you memorialize your feelings and it prompts interesting discussions! If you're wondering whether you should start a blog or not, the answer is likely yes.

Now, should it be secret? That all depends on you, but be aware that it's not likely to be a secret or anonymous forever. I know that I'm pretty proud of my writing skills, so I am anxious to show my blog to people. At some point you lose track of who all you've shown it to too, and who they might have shown it to as well. I guess I figure why write it if you're not going to share it? Sure, random people may come along, read it and proclaim it to be the best thing they've ever read, but frankly that doesn't happen often. It's like buying the perfect outfit and never going out anywhere in it. Scan through my posts, I've written some fantastic stuff (or so I think) and very few comments. Only a few from anonymous posters that we'll assume tripped over me. You're likely not to be discovered as the next pop sensation while singing in your shower, and you're not likely to be revered for your prose hiding it somewhere on the Internet either.

Ok, so say you make a blog and you post links to it on your Facebook page. What if you want to write a rant? Happens to me all the time. All I can say is that just as some things are better left unsaid, some things are better left unwritten as well. Here's also a place to work on your writing and your communication skills. Explore why you're angry or upset. Blog about that. Maybe it'll open up passages to conversations you've been putting off. Maybe it'll help you realize what's really troubling you. I don't mean to sound sanctimonious, but writing (and blogging) does these things for me. I should do it more actually, it might help.

Don't be afraid of who you are, or of sharing that with people. We're all a work in progress. :)

Have you seen the real me?

So, with social networking on the rise the question is if we'll all soon have to decide whether to have both a public and a private identity or not. It's something that's occurred to me in the past and I think I mentioned it here. How once you let people know you have a blog your blogging becomes more and more limited. I mean really. Not that I want to rant about anyone in particular (at this particular moment - well ok maybe just a little...) but every once in awhile I could write a really good rant and get things off my chest, but can't because it might cause a firestorm.

So, the question becomes can you be just one person for everyone in your life - parents, spouse, people at work, your boss, your employees, you children - or is there a need to draw lines in the sand and at least attempt to segregate your lives? And even if you wanted to, could you really pull it off? Have you ever Googled yourself? Crazy stuff comes up - some of it very scary. So even if you did make two identities for yourself online - on Facebook and Blogger for example - how long until you're outed? Except for the occasional photo *cough* or comment would it really be so bad?

It's an interesting dilemma. One of the unintended effects that the Internet may have is forcing us to be who we are. Period. And with that, accepting our friends, family, co-workers and children for who they are as well. Perhaps it'll broaden all of our minds. It may be a painful process, but maybe it's necessary and long overdue. In the end, I think it has the potential to make us all better people.

Or I'll just give in and rant anyways. :)

Forgiveness

I strongly believe that we live multiple lives. We’re tasked with learning lessons in each life, relearning lessons that we didn’t or refused to learn in prior lives, until ultimately we become a “perfect soul”. This isn’t meant to imply that there are “perfect” people, but that there are some people who could be best described as possessing an “old soul”. Edgar Cayce reportedly had some theories on this topic that fall in line with what I believe, but I confess I’ve yet to read them. My mother had told me about them years ago. She also said she felt that I’d been her mother in a prior life, to which I thought I’d often felt like her mother in this life as well.

But I digress…

So, believing these things I’m conscious about the lessons I believe I’ve been tasked with learning in this life and have come to fear that forgiveness is one of those lessons. And I’m having a really hard time learning it. The worst part is, I’m pretty certain if I don’t learn to leave it now when my forgiveness would be granted for relatively small offenses, that I’ll be forced to learn a much harsher lesson either in this life or the next. Do you suppose maybe my residual anger and lack of forgiveness comes from things that happened to me in a prior life? That might account for some of my reluctance or resistance to learning this lesson. Hand in hand with my beliefs is also the idea that we also tend to be around the same souls in multiple lifetimes. Much like my mother’s idea (often stated actually) that I’d been her mother in a prior life.

Mark Gungor suggests that holding on to anger is much like drinking poison in hopes of killing someone else. He has a point. Don’t you hate it when someone knocks you down from your self-righteous pedestal with logic?

Actually I wonder if it’s not so much a tendency not to forgive, but a reluctance to trust that people won’t hurt you, so it’s easier to simply move on rather than give them a chance to hurt you again. That would explain my rather strict rule about not being friends with ex’s (I’ve never understood that). As Miranda on Sex and the City said once, “it didn’t work out, you need to not exist”. I’ve always said that I’m a complete Miranda. Besides, if the offending party who hurt you isn’t around, there’s no need to determine whether you forgive them or not, because you don’t have to deal with them either way. I rather like that. Of course, I have done the occasional Google search in the hopes that one certain ex has been run over by a train or publicly flogged or stoned or something. But since I have no real opportunity to run him over with my car, I don’t have to spend a lot of time worrying about whether I’ve forgiven him for being a complete jerk or not.

So yeah, I suppose I should work on my forgiveness skills, but for now I’ll limit it to people I’d generally not want to hit with my car. Hey, it’s my lesson, I’ll learn it at my own pace…

Lazy again

Me at 37 weeks

I'm going to be lazy again and post this week's paper for my communications class. I liked how I depicted the voices in my head, which is why I'm throwing this up there. I wasn't as confident on the conclusion, but the first part turned out well. :)

I met Dr. Sandra Gladding on June 5th, 2007. Her assistant, Angela, came into the exam room before she did and had got me talking about myself and my background. Dr. Gladding came in and sat down, smiling and told me to continue on with my story. I’d reached the part about how my mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer at thirty-two, and she asked me some questions about that. Next she casually asked me if I was married, how long I’d been living in the area, about family and friends; typical “getting to know you” types of questions. All the while she was smiling and calm, rather like a horse trainer around a skittish colt.

Both ladies were open and friendly, and we talked for several minutes before I started to get nervous. There was nothing specific that caused the hairs on my body to slowly start standing to attention, one by one, but a quiet voice in the back on my head reminded me that I was there for a biopsy, not tea. Perhaps noticing my increasing nervousness, Dr. Gladding stood up, put her arm around me and squeezed my shoulder. “You’re going to be fine; it sounds like you have a good support network.”

My mind struggled to interpret her words. The first voice to speak up was Denial. ‘She must be talking about the baby. A good support network for the baby,’ Denial said. Fear chimed in, ‘Support network? Why do I need a support network?’ Suddenly my emotions were all talking at once, blanketing me in the white noise of a noisy theater. Panic raised its voice above the din, ‘Oh my God, do I have cancer?’ ‘Why else would she say that?’ sneered the Realist, “you’ve been waiting for this for ten years now, don’t act surprised.’ ‘What about the baby? If I have cancer, would she have it too?’ cried the mother in me. My hands went automatically to my bulging stomach, cradling my daughter who was due to be born in approximately four weeks. With Herculean effort I shushed the voices in my head.

“So it’s cancer?” I asked, my voice surprisingly steady.

“We’re going to do a biopsy today to be sure, but the mammogram and ultrasound you had yesterday indicate that yes, it’s very likely cancer.”

The white noise got loud again and I struggled to hear her, to make sense of what she was telling me. I had interpreted her behavior correctly; she had been preparing me for the worst.

“Wendy, you need to be prepared to have this baby this week,” she told me, noticing my hands clutching my very pregnant belly.

Bile rose in my throat and I broke out in a cold sweat. “But I’m only 36 weeks along,” I argued ineffectively.

“We’re not going to let anything happen to you and… what did you say you were going to name your daughter again?” she asked, pulling me back from the chaos in my mind.

“Angelina,” I answered numbly. Just saying her name calmed me though, as I’m sure Dr. Gladding anticipated.

She squeezed my shoulder again. “Angelina is going to be just fine, and so is her mommy,” she reassured.

Thus began one of the biggest learning experiences in my life. I could go on and on about the lessons breast cancer taught me, but for now let’s focus on perception.

While this is an extreme case of perception checking, sometimes the extremes can better illustrate the point. Honing perception skills is invaluable and will help in the worst of circumstances. Even before I asked the question, my mind and body were already picking up the undertones and preparing me mentally and physically to deal with the answer.

Of particular note is the white noise that fills your mind when something dramatic happens. It can completely drown out voices outside of your own head, and is why you sometimes don’t recall what someone said to you at the time. However, it’s not always bad. The white noise can drown out all but the calm voice of reason necessary in a time of crisis, which gives one the ability to deal with the matter at hand and leave the emotions to be dealt with later. I would assume that’s how nurses and EMTs make it though their days.

I’ve learned to not drown in the white noise, or the distractions that surround me daily, but to use the noise to drown out the rest of the world so I can focus on what’s important. That’s one thing cancer teaches you - what’s important.

How lazy am I?

I mean really... my last two posts were merely me posting some of my papers for school. And if you know me at all, you already know I'm a Mastermind. I didn't mention in my paper that my personality type is similar to several real and fictional characters, such as Hannibal Lector. I can totally see that... without the whole cannibalism thing and all. Although I do agree with C. Jane and Nie on how scrumptious babies are. I mean really, who doesn't want to nibble on baby toes?

Ah, I remember coming home from work when Angie was still a baby (my baby is growing up - SOB!), laying her on my knees, pulling the socks off her sweaty, stinky baby toes and enjoying "Toe Time" together. Mommy has a foot fetish - but only for baby toes. Daddy's toes are quite safe.

In other news, I'm turning over a new leaf. Instead of speculating on what people "really meant" I'm going to actually... are you sitting down... ask them what they really meant. What a concept! My communication class this semester, in all honesty, is really teaching me a lot. It's very interesting. But then I've always considered myself a student of psychology (I love the stuff) and this is yet another facet of that. (Does that help explain the Hannibal reference at all? It should.)

This semester has me swamped, so you may see a few more lazy posts, if I think the paper is interesting enough (at least I don't bore you with papers about "Legalism in China" circa 1,000 B.C.E.), so it could be worse! :)

Personality Assessment

I am pleased to note after completing four personality assessments that I do indeed seem to have one! A personality, that is. While I did not doubt this for a moment, I believe that there are others who might not have had the same luck. Alas, one facet of my personality that none of the results seemed to mention was my hearty, if somewhat acerbic, wit, my flair for being sarcastic and how much I love to make others laugh. My mother used to comment that I should have pursued a career as a Muppeteer. By contrast, she also lamented that I did not become a Supreme Court Justice, as I had planned at approximately age seven.

There’s a moniker for people like myself: “Jack of All Trades, Master of None.” That statement sums me up perhaps better than the various reports from the assessments. It would also explain how I would have made either an excellent Muppeteer or Judge, as the two careers seem to have nothing in common. However, the Jung Typology Test did indicate that I possess a “distinctively expressed judging personality,” which would, we presume, assist me as a judge. But then again, perhaps not, as it also told me that I had only a “slightly expressed thinking personality”.

Actually, the most revealing analysis from the Jung Typology Test was the link to an “INTJ” type description by D. Keirsey which described me as a “Mastermind”. Masterminds are said to make up only about one percent of the population and are described as planners who consider every contingency. They prefer not to take command until those around them “demonstrate their inability to lead”, at which time they step in and take over. They are strong-willed and self-confident and are not impressed by traditional authority or catchphrases.

I must admit, that does sound a lot like me. People must earn my respect, they are not granted it simply because they have a title or position. I am a planner who absolutely loves policies and procedures. I’m stubborn and self-sufficient and am happy to stay in the background observing and doing my work quietly, allowing others to take the glory (although I do like mention of how brilliant I am from time to time), until they make it apparent that they’re incompetent, at which point I have no further use or patience for them and will simply take over from there on out. I personify a favorite quote of mine, “Step up or step aside!” – Christopher Titus.

Ironically, when I took the Keirsey Temperament Sorter test it gave me startlingly different results. The first time I took the test it suggested I was an Artisan. The assessment did not fit me very well at all, as my only artistic ability might be in the realm of writing, although in retrospect perhaps Muppeteering skills would fall into this realm. I retook the test and it then suggested I had a “Guardian” personality. This seems a better fit, as it describes a person who uses their skills to keep things running smoothly, is dependable and trustworthy, responsible and loyal, and honors customs and traditions. The most specific thing it said that fit me was that Guardians like to work with people who carry their weight. Yes!

The Color Quiz gave me a short and sweet personality assessment, “Needs peace and quiet. Desires a close and faithful partner from whom to demand special consideration and unquestioning affection. If these requirements are not met, is liable to turn away and withdraw altogether.” If there was more to the assessment, the website refused to share it. My husband sagely agreed with it and went back to what he had been previously doing. Actually I think that it, and he, was correct – that does fit me, despite how harsh it sounds.

The final test was the Mental Muscle Diagram Indicator which suggested I have an INTJ or Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging personality. While each of the prior assessments had points that I felt clearly described me, this report seemed the most “dead-on”. It clearly describes me as a systems-driven perfectionist who quickly loses respect for those considered “slacking” at the workplace. The analysis further describes me as someone who seizes opportunities others may miss, and who often takes it upon themselves to make decisions without consultation, but is also “scrupulous and even-handed” about recognizing others who contribute to a project. I specifically liked how it explained that our perceived self-confidence is really more specific in nature and based on developed specialized areas of expertise developed from a young age which allow us to “know what we know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don’t know.” Wow, someone out there really does understand me!

None of the results really surprised me, at least not in content. I drive more than ten hours a week and often spend that time picking apart my day, my experiences, my reactions and ultimately my personality and communication skills. I did find it gratifying, however, to see some of the more unique parts of my personality explained in a way that I’ve been unable to express to others. I feel that these tests give some insight on how I communicate with others, specifically my frustration with co-workers who don’t pull their own weight. My communication skills and leadership also tend to relate these principles.

In conclusion, I think that these tests did a very good job of highlighting aspects of my personality. Even the assessment that suggested I have an Artisan personality fits to some degree, although I still feel it was incorrect. Even if I possess some artistic abilities, they are not dominant. Perhaps whose are the aspects I should work on in myself. I believe I have concluded that I should take the information these tests provided me and use them in my current self-improvement process. Specifically I need to trust myself and my instincts more.

Angie's first product endorsement!

I have now lost 30.5 lbs on Weight Watchers! Yay me! I believe I owe a big part of that to:

• Well, Weight Watchers (of course) - the Core Plan - I highly recommend it
• Monster Baby - she eats half of my meals, which cuts down on my food consumption
• Newman's Own Low Fat Sesame Ginger Dressing!

Let me tell you, I've always enjoyed salads, but certainly not every day. However, now that I've discovered this dressing I eat a salad every day for lunch and sometimes one for dinner too, and I'm excited about each an every one! The salad is simple... romaine lettuce, tomato, red onion, chicken and almond slivers (a must)... and the dressing of course. Really, I mean it, it's awesome! And I'm not alone in that assessment, I have several others who happily agree.

Surely it's bad for you, right NO! It even passed the Elizabeth test! It contains nothing scary or unhealthy.

Run, don't walk, to your nearest market and get some! Before I eat it all! :)

Three Goals

Today's Writing Prompt: Write about three realistic goals you'd like to achieve in your lifetime.

I’d like to:

Finish College

Be a Published Author

Inspire People

To Do List

I took a time management class today. They told us to figure out our goals and write them down. So here we go...

Things to do: (In no particular order)

1. Buy a giant Laser for the roof of my car. Or buy a Monster Truck capable of running over jerks on the road who cut me off every day.

2. Win the Lottery. That way I won't be the person who spends the least amount of time with Angie.

3. Finish college. Yes, even if I accomplish #2.

4. Lose another 25 pounds to add to the 35 I've already lost this year. And keep it off! Dress inappropriately, just because I can pull it off. ;)

5. Talk less. Complain less. Save my breath for important things and convey them in a positive manner whenever possible. If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.

6. Inspire people to go beyond the expected. Go beyond the expected as often as possible to help that goal by example.

7. Be a good Mom. Be a good Wife. Be a good daugther, niece, granddaughter. Be a good co-worker, employee and boss. Be a good person.

8. Be less frustrated when the world doesn't keep up with me, when I can't keep up with the world, when there's injustice and when things don't conform to the way I want/expect them to be.

9. Be a published author during my life.

10. Realize that I can't do it all, but I can do my best.

No pressure, eh?

That's me, by the way, not Angie in that picture. :)